Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)

So, Russ was away for the last weekend on a business trip to Seattle and look what he got me!!!! 

Grey's Anatomy Scrubs!!!

 *Ignore the mess, we are going to move out soon thus the craziness!

Hhahaa, I know Calvin will love this too but that was the last set and it was Large!! But I give Russ extra brownie points for remembering what I like and getting it for me (this was a total surprise, unlike the rose incident.. hahahahah). 

 

There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

 *Edited at 4:30pm

I just read about a girl committing suicide over her broken relationship with her boyfriend. I went to the Facebook page created by her friends in memory of her and I cried going through her pictures. I don't know her personally but I cried for her pain because I can relate to it. If a broken relationship is really what caused her death, I wished that she didn't do it. My close friends know that I went through a really difficult and tough time 2 years ago and every time I think about it, I can still feel that pain. The saddest thing was, I almost took my life because of the failed relationship as well. If not for my best friends who stood by me, carried me through and was there every step of the healing process (and T, whom I knew through her blog and me randomly writing to her... I wrote about her few entries back), I don't think I would be where I am today. 

I don't think anyone could really understand the pain that the girl must have gone through. In the news article, the media mentioned that the girl blogged about her fearing that she might not be able to love again... All of which, the exact same things... I've told my friends. I wished that she was stronger though and that she had looked for someone to talk it through and most of all, I wished that she didn't take her life away. Because, she would be able to see how beautiful her life would turn out to be without that person she thinks she love with her life & might in it. She will learned that despite the broken heart, the pain, the aching, the tears... Life is worth living. I loved that man with all my heart, all my might, with my life... he broke my heart, left me thinking that life is no longer worth living and that I can NEVER EVER love anyone else. I remember telling Calvin that after loving someone so much, I don't know how it would be ever possible to love someone else with such passion or the same, needless to say to love more. But I learned that it's possible. Because you love the new person with a different kind of love and you can love the person even more. 

CL told me (2 years ago) that one day when I look back at the things I've done, tears that I've cried, insults & injustice that I've put up with... everything... I will look back and laugh. Laugh at how stupid and silly I was. And when I told him I am in a new relationship, he asked me if I feel that way... I do. Honestly, I do. Even though I don't regret doing all those things that I've done, trying to get that man back in my life and trying to take my life away... But I do feel kinda silly. But I guess, that was part of the process... to get over a broken heart. And she who chose to do it, must have taken a lot of courage to. She left behind more broken hearts than she can imagine... I hope, the pain and hurt for her, is gone now. 

 Love, is not love if you have never experience heartache...  

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

Just a random update... Geez, I cannot even remember when all these things took place!
 Start spamming with my narcissistic images of what I wore... I'm really so proud of myself because I have been exhausting all the clothes I have and trying to wear the same thing a few times (which I never did in the past... I normally wear the same clothes probably months later!). Or probably because I only have those few pieces suitable for the cold weather? Hhahahaa


Week of 5th April - 9th April...

So... sometime last week, I dig out the box of instant ramen that I bought when I was transiting in the Narita airport during my last trip back to SG. Decided to cook it for dinner since it was going to expire soon.

Comes in 4 different flavour... Read it yourself.

We always have some random side dishes... in this case, Russ' favourite roast duck from Marina (Hahha nowadays when I buy food, I always imagine what Calvin might wanna eat when she visits!)

Not to forget the staples, random kind of Kimchi!!!

I love this top sooooooooo much although its really short and if I were to wear it with anything that's not high-waisted, my tatt will be revealed.

Sorry, my house lighting is too crappy and I'm using my iphone.. Hahha

The skirt below is different from what I'm wearing up there! But I know, can't tell... crap

Random pictures of flowers I took outside of the apartment... SPRING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to me...

Spammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

And Russ bought me a stalk of rose! He actually called me on his way home and ask me if I am hungry because he is going to buy me a rose and will be late for 10mins. Some kind of surprise huh?

Okkkkkkkkk, last picture!!! Taken yesterday... the weather was gorgeous... Or should I say, HOT?! We went to test drive a few BMWs (Russ did...even though I'm the one buying. Hahha) but I've more or less decided on what I want!

Who's Zoomin' Who?

One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets – like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst.

So I was having a conversation with Tammy yesterday about work, life balance and it got me thinking.

My conversation with Tammy was basically about how she feels that she has been spending too much time at work, leaving her with no time to do other stuff. And more importantly, she felt that what she really wants now, is to get hitched. I basically told her that it's something that I think about but definitely not within the next few months, or 1 - 2 years. Reason being? I want to focus on my career. Now, before you start screaming at me and calling me a career minded WOman, I do have some reasons why. Well, you see... In the past, I wanted to get married when I turn 25, have kids when I am 28 and yadah yadah. But I met that bastard, thought I had everything going for me... Great bf, new career...fantastic relationship... all when I was 24. I had happy times and in fact, I couldn't be any happier when I was with him.

Then, everything came crashing down. 

And life changed for me. 

I threw myself into my new job, worked endlessly and tirelessly. Just so I can forget things, pull myself up and carry on with life. My whole point of saying all these is... the main gist of our conversation was that we came to a conclusion that things always happen at a certain timing, all planned. Simply put, everything happens for a reason. I am a firm believer of that and it's something I bear in mind, whenever something happen. 

 

If that bastard haven't left me in that state, I probably wouldn't have gained all the things I have today.

1. I worked my ass off and got promoted within a year. I was also the top performer of the global team (more than 50 of us, both SG & TW ... our scores are being used to pit against each other). Work got better each year and finally, I realized my dream to work in another country!!

2. I had the chance to travel every 3 months, getting to know some really good friends from TW.

3. I found a great friend in CL, he was the one who encouraged me, pull me up and told me that I will regret crying over that useless man when I look back after a few years (and yes, CL... you're damn right!). 

4. My friendship with Serenity was strengthen and I found my soulmate back even though we weren't in the best situation at that point of time. I came to realise that a true friend will never leave you, no matter what and she proved it. I remembered the countless emails, sms, rushing down to my side, watch me cry, cry with me, cried for me, laugh with me, get angry for me and be happy for me. I can never asked for more. 

5. I know how much my friends love me... Chewy & Stanley who came over to my place in the middle of the night, slept at the staircase area because I refused to let them in. Who continuously encourage me and scolded me when I needed waking up. CK who always give me the harshest words but all for my own good.

6. My family. 'Nuff said. 

7.  A friendship formed over the Internet where I wrote to a complete stranger who actually took time to respond to me and encourage me. I never knew that she was going through a hard time in her marriage at that time as well and is really grateful and guilty at the same time. Guilty that she still have to comfort me despite her own situation. Grateful that she responded and made a difference in my life. She's really happy right now and she deserves it for being the wonderful person she is.

8.  New found relationship with God. 

9. Russ... (it's been 7 months now!)

10. Finding myself, all over again. 

I'm thankful for all of the above and if I have to go through what I've went through before, I would take it on again. But this time round, I'll be the tough bitch that everyone knows. =)