Much too Much

How do you know when how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask... And when is it all just too much to bear?

Bro said that my blog is dead and to be honest, I have absolutely no inspiration on what to write. A day-to-day documentation of my life would be too boring for everyone. Its always the same thing, work, work,work and more workkkkkkkk....Somehow, I find it ironic how, supposedly a blog is for you to pen down your thoughts, emotions and feelings but yet, somehow, sometimes... it is just not possible. 

I've learned so much about life within the 1 year span that I've spent here. I learned to appreciate the fact that in life, you give and take. And you just have to learn how to let go. Not that I don't know about this since my dad always teaches us about that. But, the art of letting go, be it in any situation, is not easy at all. Letting go of the fact that you get maligned for some f-up situation at work? Not easy. Yet, being here... somehow, I mastered it. I guess, its the environment and survival instincts. I learned that some people are just bullshit and they will always be, no matter how much hope you place in them that they are not as bad as they seem. But bullshit will always be bullshit. A leopard will never change its spots. I learned that some things in life, may seem important at certain points and it doesn't feel good to have to let it go, but you actually feel better after while and you will actually be glad that you did it. I learned that no matter what nonsense or shit another person can say about you, that's because they are the same and when they put you down first, they are being "cleared" of those things. I learned that some people, some people are never meant to be in your life as a permanent fixtures. They are just stops along the way in your life to experience different things. I learned that no matter what others think of you, and treat you as though you are nothing when you have poured in everything for them, you are worth more than what they are. I learned that some times, when things get so frustrating, all you have to do is to go back to your desk, put on your earphones, listen to some songs and everything will be ok again. I learned that, even though someone is your "superior", it doesn't mean that they are always right and will not make any mistakes. They do because they are human.

I learned that life is too short, to have all these issues troubling me.

 

Thanks for the Memories

Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, they all mean the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family. Happy just to be alive. Whether we like it or not.

By now, if you are a great Grey's Anatomy fan like me; you'd have realized that all my entry title is actually the episode title. I don't know how but everytime I start an entry, the quote seems to fit exactly what I'm feeling at the moment or what I want to say... The most ironic thing is, this particular episode reminds me why I am unhappy... because of something that was said before.

I know I have been saying this over and over again but it has been a tough month for me, emotionally. But I guess, it's all better now. Sometimes in life, when you let things go and not take it too literally, it's always a bit easier. I'm not saying to be totally nonchalant but just bit a teeny weeny bit detached from those things that are making you unhappy. I wish I can put into words exactly what I'm feeling but I think its better left unsaid. 

I look at things around me, and I wonder... Should I be happy with all that I have now? Yes, I do... I'm actually grateful (note that it's gratitude) because it actually made me realized and see things that, even though I don't want to... I did. 

Well... Life... there's always light at the end of the tunnel. 

Never realized how crooked my jaw is until this picture... Guess I will always be perfectly imperfect.

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.