The past 2 week has been really crazy... With something that I feared the most, coming back to haunt me. Long story short, Baileys (she was supposed to be mine but my mom was really crazily against me having her) was given up by her owners. And the reasons? That they rented a flat, sublet the flat and their tenants are really scared of dogs thus they have to give her up. Now, tell me? What kind of f-ing lame excuse is this????? In the first place, if you truly love your dog, would you have not screened your tenants beforehand? Making sure that they like dogs or not even renting your damn rented flat out to them if they cannot accept your dog?
Geez, talking about them makes my blood boil.
Anyway, back to Baileys. So it was a frenzy trying to find a good home for her and deciding if I should bring her back to the states with me. I had a long talk (actually several) with Russ and we even fought about it. I find it hard to explain to people why I eventually made the decision to let her go and allow my sister's friend to adopt her. Maybe to others, my reasons are weak and are just excuses but trust me, the emotional turmoil I went though, almost killed me.
I wish I can give her a good life but at the same time, my life has already feel as though someone pressed the fast forward button. Everything going in crazy speed. Meeting Russ, dating Russ, finding an apartment, living together, being apart for few weeks every now and then (because of my pending visa application but I got it!) and to wanting to import Baileys into the states.
I know I can do it because to me, money is always a secondary issue. But with so many other things I have to think about, allowing her to go to her current home is really the wisest decision at this moment.
I cannot deny that I miss her and I feel the tinges of pain everytime I think about her but at the same time, I feel happy for her and I hope that this time round, this home is hers for life. Simply because she really deserves it. Maybe I can repeat myself a thousand and a million times why I made this decision but I know, ultimately it's how people choose to look at me. I'm not going to defend myself because I don't have to.
Everyone who knows me, know that I am a crazy dog lover. I wish I have a lab right now but circumstances prevent me from doing so. I don't know. I know I will work harder to move into a bigger apartment on the first level, so that I can have a dog that can run around freely without fearing that it might jump off the patio. Yet at the same time, I don't know if I would still stay in the states after my visa expires in 3 years time (this is also 1 of the reason why I don't wanna bring Baileys over)? Russ told me that he will get the dog and if anything happens, the dog will still always be with him (if i leave the states). For every reason that I could think of to bring Baileys over, I have reasons not to.
I don't expect anyone to understand or agree but its our decision to do so. Even if next time, we get a lab within the year or next... it is also our decision. I only have myself and Baileys to answer to.
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